Welcome!
click to continue!
from april 15 to april 21:
➼ you were the best occurence that had ever happened to me,,, although we never lasted for a week, it still felt like an eternity being with you..
➼ that's why i want to dedicate an opm playlist to you. a playlist that really made me overlook what i had done for the whole week,, the emotions that i poured out onto nothingness, it now felt as if i had life when i seeked you, even if im sure that there will never be an us to begin with and ever again...
it really makes me happy that you still want to continue after pressing the most obvious button i've ever made, sorry for making you wait. please click the picture so i can start the songs for you to listen to.
instructions!!:
please listen to the song at a different tab if you're reading this on a computer! (or on a different gadget if you're reading on a cellphone)*
John Roa performs 'Oks Lang' LIVE on Wish 107.5 Bus
During the time that I got to talk to you, it was a type of 'out of this world' event to me, I really valued you a lot as a person. From the anonymous confession message saying, "Asuro is dead, he died back in 2018, Poi."
It really dawned on me to question, "Who was Poi and was she popular?" especially since I was new in the IDV PH server. I always figured that I wouldn't get close to people there since it just wasn't my style.
That's why when the 15th of April came around and I saw a chat of yours in marupok hours that was a picture of NortNaib, my eyes lit differently, and I just had to be able to talk to you since, I never knew anyone else that loves NortNaib like I do, specially someone who was Filipino too.
Hence to why I was glad when you talked to me in Discord and immediately mentioned me on the NortNaib server to ask if I was there already. It made my heart tickle with joy. At last I've found someone who had the same interests as me, someone who wasn't forced to love the same stuff like me.
I had swore on that day that we would become long-term friends, but I guess I jinxed what was bound to happen us. It saddened me really, but I knew things wouldn't go back to the way they were. That's why this song is for wishing to get close to you even if it's the last time we're ever getting to talk...
instructions!!:
please listen to the song at a different tab if you're reading this on a computer! (or on a different gadget if you're reading on a cellphone)
The Juans - Hatid (Official Audio)
This song saddens me a lot, this was what I was listening to before the incident happened. During the week that I was talking to you, I was really jealous of Acro, you two were so close and I kind of was just in the side lines. Looking at you chat, I was mesmerized, but when I see you talking to Acro, envy always managed to get through my brain, but I knew that I had no rights to be jealous, because we weren't in a relationship, we we're just friends.
Until the time came when my buddies had to scold me for the worry I was feeling, they always encouraged me that I had to keep fighting if I loved you, that I shouldn't care of what people would think if I really wanted to be with you, because that was the only thing that would motivate me in that situation.
I always kept that in mind and I only wanted you to be happy in situations I knew I wasn't going to be there. That's why when I confessed in the IDV PH chat that I liked you a lot and I would treat you as if you were my everything, I never lied on a single word there.
That's why this song for me meant that if I had to make you happy, I had to be the one that'll lead you to the happiness that you needed with another person, not with me.
instructions!!:
please listen to the song at a different tab if you're reading this on a computer! (or on a different gadget if you're reading on a cellphone)
TJ Monterde - Dating Tayo (Official Music Video)
Starting the song off, there's a spoken poetry that you can hear, this song was also one of the songs I was listening to at that night. It was 12 midnight and you never knew what happened to me after that, I was angry at myself for what I did, so tears were rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably, my mom also caught me crying, but I shook it off as nothing when she asked me if I was okay.
I was really sad, at that point, that I couldn't even call it sad anymore, I called it as depression, at least that's what I thought it was. It hurt me everywhere, physically and mentally, I blamed myself for my actions, because even if I told you that I understood that you were scared to love and to reciprocate the feelings, I didn't. Hence to why, I'm thinking that I gave you more of a problem to deal with now that you're more scared of loving.
I started to question myself once again that, why couldn't I be enough, why did I have to be so forceful? So, if you're thinking that this is all of your fault, it's not. Now that I'm healing from what happened, it made me think that I was really stupid, I shouldn't have done that, because back to the second song, I told you that I would keep fighting for you, but, how could I keep fighting for you if I couldn't even fight for myself?
That's why this song for me meant that I want to come back in terms with you even if I knew that I hurt you, which I know I don't deserve to get a second chance from.
instructions!!:
please listen to the song at a different tab if you're reading this on a computer! (or on a different gadget if you're reading on a cellphone)
Moira Dela Torre - Take Her to the Moon (Official 2018) Full Lyrics Video
It's been only 2 days since i've left off and it never really did me good. On the 22nd in the morning, I never left my bed, because of how distraught I felt when I did that. I couldn't take you off my mind and if you noticed, I deactivated my Twitter, I left the discord servers you were in, and I changed all of my profile to black, because I didn't want you to notice me.
I knew that you wanted to take off time from that, and the tension would be too awkward if I stayed. I never talked to anyone that day, because if I did, I was so scared I'd lash out on them, crying, because I was so fragile at that time. If only I could turn back time I really would.
I still kept on writing on my notes the best memories I had of you. You still haven't sent me the picture of the view in the rooftop that you promised me, and the moon that you kept looking at during 2 in the morning. I lost someone that I kept sending NortNaib pictures to, I lost someone important to me in general. And even if I'm writing this at 1 in the morning, I know that this is the only time that I'm able to show what I'm feeling.
When you went up and left, the nightmares that I used to have kept coming back, and by this, I mean it seriously that I woke up, my heart pounding fast and I was sweating. I never thought that I would get them back just from not being able to talk to you.
But this song for me meant, that back in the moment we were still talking, I want to relieve the happiness that we both felt, the happiness that wasn't forced, and the happiness that we were supposed to have till' we met. So as the end of the song says, "And I only wish you happiness, until we meet again."
instructions!!:
please listen to the song at a different tab if you're reading this on a computer! (or on a different gadget if you're reading on a cellphone)
I Belong to the Zoo - Balang Araw (Official Lyric Video)
This last song I have for you, the song writer, Argee Guerrero, said that the meaning from behind this music was to move on from someone who busted him when he was courting her. He said that, in order to move on from someone, you had to list all of the negative things that you found in that person, and when he tried to do that, he couldn't list anything, because that girl was so good to him. And it was like me to you. He said that if you got busted by someone you like, you don't have to tell negative things about them. You just have to let time work its way into your mind and in your heart as well.
And through these past days, I haven't learned how to forgive myself because I was so selfish with whatever I've done. My friends told me to move on from you, because they never saw you entertain me in the way I was hoping to be entertained in discord, instead they always saw the feelings that I felt while I was liking you.
I never told them that I was making this carrd for you. I know I didn't have to, but I noticed how much you liked reading from them. I know I can't bring back the past friendship we had, but the least thing I can ask for you is...
will you forgive me?
thank you so much for giving me a chance. i promise, that this time i won't screw it up. it might not be the same, but i swear that this time i will make you more comfortable. but i hope i'm not forcing you to do anything... please don't be shy to click the picture, i'll be here with you till' this ends, so don't be afraid.
It's okay, I understand that I haven't been the best to you. It's alright. Everything is going to be alright, and I hope that you become happy with someone else that you love and is willing to take care of you. It kind of saddens me, but if it's your happiness, I'd love to choose it over mine. Thank you sunshine for sticking with me. You're the best, thank you for teaching me a lesson. (´꒳`)
